I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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