My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
