They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Enjoy the penises
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
