What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
