Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize