We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
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Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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