Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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