I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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