we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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