omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
