Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
