Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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