i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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