everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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