We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
