Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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