How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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