so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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