Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I will die if light touches me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
