Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
