Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
