Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
