If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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