like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
