i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
