i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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