Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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