Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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