Screwed.edu
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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