My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
