she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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