so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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