Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
not ubering you a puppy
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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