nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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