God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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