I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
