He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
