she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
