i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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