I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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