You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
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Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn