I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
