He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.