on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Randomize
