on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
