Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
