She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
