I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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