Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All the doctor said was why
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
