I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize