would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
