i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
