At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
