yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it because I queefed?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
