I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
do nipples grow back?
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