Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
