Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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