using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
