Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
