You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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