Screwed.edu
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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