is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
