Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm really busy with my period
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