I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
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Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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